Category Archives: The Wrong Dictionary

This is

Pen. Noun. A secure facility for ensuring the safety and well-being of writers and publishers of embarrassing dossiers.
This one’s for Julian Assange.

I write fake definitions and post them on If you’re into satire, humor, mischief, and the occasional blast of profanity, please visit. If you’re a Tumblr user, you can follow the site so you don’t miss any of my definitions.

The Wrong Dictionary is inspired by The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, Dictionary of Received Ideas by Gustave Flaubert, and the Internets.