Y’all need to learn what this word means.

“Civilization.” You think you know what it means. Civilization. Your eyes skate right through it. No problem. Civilization. You got this. It means “everything.”

Well, maybe not everything. Just people. Humans. Civilization means humans.

Maybe just “humanity.” You know, everybody, ever.

Wrong, sucka. Wrong.

Continue reading Y’all need to learn what this word means.

Four Images from Famous Fake Quotes

Famous Fake Quotes is an ongoing personal project of mine. You should like it on Facebook!

Like Famous Fake Quotes on Facebook!

Famous Fake Quotes is a series of quotes I make up and attribute to historical figures, public figures, and celebrities, and then design images for. It can get racy sometimes, so if you’re sensitive to curse words, run away!

Like Famous Fake Quotes on Facebook!

It gets racier than that, but I don’t want to overwhelm my more prudish readers. Often, however, it’s just plain silly.


There are plenty more where those came from. I hope you’ll like Famous Fake Quotes on Facebook, scroll through all the images, drop some comments, have fun, and share the images freely all throughout the land.

Like Famous Fake Quotes on Facebook!

This is TheWrongDictionary.com

Pen. Noun. A secure facility for ensuring the safety and well-being of writers and publishers of embarrassing dossiers.
This one’s for Julian Assange.

I write fake definitions and post them on TheWrongDictionary.com. If you’re into satire, humor, mischief, and the occasional blast of profanity, please visit. If you’re a Tumblr user, you can follow the site so you don’t miss any of my definitions.

The Wrong Dictionary is inspired by The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce, Dictionary of Received Ideas by Gustave Flaubert, and the Internets.


Those of you for whom English is a second language, I have a tip for you. Actually, this is for everyone, since most people haven’t heard it:


Let me explain. You know how English has all those rules and regulations about grammar and punctuation? Well, they were all made to be broken, bent, scraped, remixed, reengineered, and built back up any way you see fit. It’s just like music.

In music, you toot on a horn, and it sounds like crap. And then you start learning the proper fingerings. You practice scales over and over – and over again. You study theory. You master every rule, every regulation. You embrace every school of thought, from the streets to the top of the ivory tower.

And then you throw it all away and make your own damn rules.

Continue reading Wail.